It was the best of times..it was the worst of times..it was FAMILY DINNER TIME!!
Family dinner time is a big part of a Mom’s life. We spend nights making menu plans, days shopping for ingredients, and hours upon hours cooking it all. We write recipes, try recipes, share and compare recipes. “Its all worth it,” we tell ourselves- it’s time together as a family.
We have the image of family dinner in our head- our cute little children sitting politely in front of the perfect meal we have slaved over all afternoon. AND THEN REALITY HITS…
“I don’t like meatloaf MOM!” He’s hitting me Mom! My food is touching each other MOM! I want chocolate milk! Sorry- i spilled my chocolate milk! Can i have more chocolate milk Mom?”
MOM! MOM! MOM!!!
The orchestra of chaos becomes louder and louder until the grand finale moment where Mom finally loses her mind! She lets it all loose- everything- ALL OF IT. Sometimes she throws in a scary scream or two- Just for effect!…and then it goes quiet. Nobody makes a single sound for two whole minutes until they all start crying in unison (because Mom is so mean- of course).
Dinner Time=Quality Family Time
We must end this chaos Mamas! We must take back the table that once was ours. It’s time we eat a meal in peace! We need a plan! MAMA WARRIORS UNITE! We certainly aren’t going to be able to beat the little hoodlems. They are a tricky bunch. They are up all night long coming up with their next dinner shenanigan while we rock them aimlessly back to sleep. We are exhausted and they are one step ahead!
We can not beat them so we must change the game. If they can’t see our face they can’t get a reaction. If they don’t get a reaction then the behavior stops yeah? (I learned that once in my parenting classes- you know that class where you take care of the little EGG?) Plan in motion.
Here’s what you need-One horse head. Yep. You heard me. (If there happens to be a horse head shortage in your area- you can always raid your costume box for something similar.) Put that sucker on and eat your peas in peace.
“I don’t like meatloaf MOM!”
He’s hitting me Mom!
My food is touching each other!
NEIGH NEIGH NEIGH
I bet the little hoodlems stop complaining after awhile if all they get is a good old fashioned NEIGH. I’m not saying that i read this technique in a parenting book- I’m just saying that i’m HUNGRY and EXHAUSTED. If anybody else has a better idea feel free to send it my way. In the mean time I will just be sitting here- you know-eating my peas in peace!
(…and if your family dinners really are pleasant and you don’t feel the need to wear a horse head…you are a HERO mama! Send me your address and i will make you the most sparkly gold star you ever did see.! You certainly deserve it!)