“Exacerbated Vocal Inclination” -another real Why-Moms diagnosis I made up myself.

The Diagnosis: Moderate to severe increase in vocal tone, volume and speed during dialog, onset by oral communication repetition with lack of results.

The Case Study: Three year old Ella is watching Road Runner. Kate, Ella’s mother, would like her to put her dirty cup in the sink. Kate looks at her precious child, smiles with gratitude that she was blessed with such a wonderful daughter, and calmly and tenderly asks Ella to put her cup in the sink. Minutes pass and there is no cup in the sink. Feeling slightly annoyed at being ignored, but understanding that Ella is only 3, Kate politely reminds her pre-schooler of the task she needs to complete, in a more stern, prominent tone. Several minutes pass, and Ella has not taken her eyes of the TV. As Kate’s blood pressure begins to rise, and she feels her jaw tighten, she speaks loudly and rapidly as, for the third time, she asks Ella to put her cup in the sink. When her pleadings yet again yields no results, Kate feels the vein in her neck start to pulsate, her brows furrow in absolute hopeless frustration, and beads of sweat slowly start to form on her temples. Kate stares at her disobedient child in outrage. Suddenly even the paint on the walls was making Kate upset. Why is she being ignored? Who is mowing their lawn at 5 in the afternoon? And what is wrong with that STUPID coyote that he can never catch that obnoxious Road Runner?!?! Is he an idiot? Is there seriously nothing else in the entire world the coyote could have for dinner?!?!! Then, like a volcano, waiting to erupt, it happens, “ELLA!!! CUP!!! SINK!!! NOW!!!”

Sure, it gets the intended results, but causes this wide-spread maternal medical condition: Exacerbated Vocal Inclination.

The Cure:

Step One – Make your request. If your child does not obey, move to step two.

Step Two – When you make your request for the second time, it will take more than a verbal request. Walk over to your child, take his or her hand, and help them complete the assigned task. This will teach your child that ignoring you is not an option, and the job will get done one way or another.

 
 

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