“Gestational Amnesia” – A True Diagnosis I Made Up

I was eight and a half months into my pregnancy with my third child.  And despite my mammoth, irritable, and uncomfortable condition, I was clear-headed enough to come to an astounding conclusion regarding women who voluntarily agree to carry life….here is the story of my epiphany…..

Amidst hysterical crying after reading a “Stop Smoking” billboard, and an insatiable urge to drink A-1 Steak Sauce from the bottle, I had a thought……  No women in her right mind would knowingly agree to succumb to this kind of daily physical and mental torture!!  There must be a reason why intelligent females of sound mind knowingly walk in to a theoretic mine field.  Then I came to a realization….. In order to trick women in to having more than one child, I am convinced that God blessed all Mothers with what I have tagged “Gestational Amnesia” ™.  Once you have that perfect little baby in your arms, you suddenly forget the miserable mood swings, mind numbing memory loss, and paralyzing nausea of pregnancy.  The memories of waking up in the middle of the night in searing pain because your unborn child has kicked you in the ribs so hard that you can feel the pain radiate in your jaw have dissipated.  You don’t remember praying for the sweet release of death during labor, or being sewn up like a patch-work quilt after delivery.  In fact, the amnesia seems to get more severe with time.  Typically about 12-18 months after suffering the greatest and most prolonged torture known to man, spend months recovering from this traumatic physical overhaul, and spend thousands of dollars in medical bills, we somehow think it is a good idea to start all over again…..What?!?! A miraculous act of Deity is the only logical explanation.

*If you can relate to this in any way shape or form… you’re going to need to check out Meg’s post on saying good-bye to the baby stage!


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